Odd But Mostly Harmless Things Guys In The Seduction Community Do

The Seduction Community is weird. Some of its attitudes are unhealthy. Community guys do lots of other odd things that aren't as horrible though. They're still strange, but in the grand scheme of things they're fairly innocuous. They make you shake your head in amusement or bewilderment more than anything.

I suppose if you took any of them too far they could become genuinely maladaptive though. Overall you're still better off it you don't do any of them. I don't want to justify or glorify anything. But for most guys the points below are just temporary quirks, not reasons to worry about them going down a dark path.

Giving unsolicited advice and opinions to everyone

Almost every guy who gets into the Seduction Community initially goes through a delusional phase where they think they're experts on women because they've read about it. They'll give their advice and opinions to anyone who's around: to their brother who casually mentioned a girl he knows, to a guy at work talking about his relationship, and especially to their friends. Sooner or later cold, cruel reality makes this stage end, but those first few months in the scene are a magical, optimistic time indeed.

These guys have no actual game, but they still talk like they do, and they really believe it. I remember going through this phase and I actually gave some advice to a coworker that finally got him laid with a girl he had been pursuing for months. At the time I was as lonely and celibate as they came, but that didn't stop me from convincingly parroting some tips off the internet. You can't say the Community doesn't have good advice sometimes. It worked for that guy.

Being too into sneaking around and keeping the scene a secret

Admit it, even though you sometimes feel embarrassed about being in the Seduction Community and having to keep that part of your life hidden away, another part of you gets a cheap thrill out of it. It's fun to have a secret. It feels cool to know you're part of this underground subculture (sure it's getting more media attention, but tell your parents you, personally, are in it). It's a kick to walk down the street and think, "I'm out sarging now. No one knows it, but I'm sarging...so I can get better with girls!!!"

You can overdo it with the sneakiness and end up leading too much of a double life. Your parents can get worried wondering where you're always going off to. You're buddies will start to wonder about your mysterious second set of friends, or who these odd guys are who you occasionally bring along to social occasions, who hem and haw when they're asked how they know you.

Using too much Community Jargon

It's one thing to use abbreviations on the internet, but it strikes me as odd when guys throw around terms like 'Day 2' and 'DHV' in real life. Also, a lot of Community jargon is redundant. Why say PUA can you can just say player, for example? I get how it makes you feel like the man to be using all these technical terms, but why not talk like a regular person?

What really always got to me was when Community guys would throw the jargon around within earshot of civilians. Like they'd be walking down the street loudly talking about how they negged some girl then AMOGed the guy before doing a takeaway to spike Buying Temperature. My first thought was always, "Keep it down, you sound like a weirdo", but they were too socially thoughtless about how they were coming across. That or they had this attitude that all the jargon would go over mainstream people's heads because it was so far outside their reality.

A related, and admittedly minor, quibble is how guys in the Community will use each other's internet handles in real life, and even when someone's real name is well known.

Trying to proselytize and convert your friends

A common forum thread:

Poster: "I'm trying to get my friends into the game but they're not interested. They're total AFCs but whenever I tell them about the community they don't care. I even tried showing my friend how to approach girls the last time we were out at the bar, but he just got annoyed with me."

Responders: "Oh, don't bother. You can't make anyone change if they don't want to. They're too plugged into the matrix. Getting into the community would mean admitting to themselves that they have a problem, they'd rather preserve their egos, blah blah blah."

Besides being condescending towards regular guys just because they're not into being a PUA, this 'convert the friends' attitude has some other issues:

Doing weird, anti-social things to get over your fears

Community guys are collectively obsessed with getting over their fear of women. For some reason many of them get it into their head that the best way to become fearless is to go out in public, act like a weirdo, and purposely expose themselves to embarrassment and negative judgments from other people. Such stunts are accompanied by talk of tearing down pre-programmed social conditioning. The idea is that if you can do something totally ridiculous and extreme, talking to girls (another supposedly societally conditioned fear) will seem easy.

So you read blogs and forum posts from guys about going out in public in a dress or going around saying inappropriate things to people. I get the logic behind this but it strikes me as a bit excessive. Some guys in the scene also need to learn to be less wacky, not to send themselves out into the streets being a goofball. There's no real need to do this to get over your fears with women.

Getting a little too into Self-Improvement

It's a no brainer that improving yourself as a person is a good thing, for you and for the people who interact with you. Lots of Community guys are into the larger process of self-improvement and see learning how to do better with women as one component of that. But I think you can go too far with Personal Development. You can read a few too many self-help books and listen to a few too many motivational CDs and turn into someone like this guy.

It's like anything, go overboard with it and you go a little off. You lose the ability to just watch a dumb movie - that's poor productivity and the time would be better spent learning how to speed read. You can't talk about current events because the only things you've read in the past three months are tomes on time management.

Getting a little too into new age material

Some Community material draws on alternative concepts like hypnotism, Neuro-Linguistic programming, and psychic powers. Get too into them and you become odd and spacey. I'll totally admit I'm a skeptic about this stuff, by the way. Also practically, this type of material seems to have the worst track record in terms of actually helping guys. Dispute that statement if you want, but that's the impression I get. A lot of guys who get into this sub-type of advice to do better with women seem to get sidetracked on these spiritual quests as well (but maybe that's what they were looking for all along).

Focusing on flashy tricks instead of truly being effective with women

A lot of the individual little techniques and lines from the Community have a showy element to them. A girl says something and you come back with a witty line and she goes, "Oh my God!!! I can't believe you said that!!!", then you high five your friends and go, "Dude, did you see that?!!?" Or a girl will ask you to buy her a drink and you'll have some clever comeback action for it. And you'll go to your friends and go, "Hahaha!!! She asked me to buy her a drink and instead I..."

Community guys will also pull off these zany stunts just for the heck of it. They'll do things like go sarging while wearing clown costumes and report how it went. Maybe they'll make a video and post it on YouTube. Mostly it's for fun, though sometimes they do it as a kind of test for themselves.

Many guys come to see pulling off these tricks as ends in and of themselves. I guess it can make you feel good if you always used to be tongue-tied around women and now you're busting out the crazy lines, but making a girl's friends laugh at her, or embarrassing some guy who was trying to be rude to you isn't the same as actually doing well with women. Getting caught up in pulling off flashy tricks can sidetrack you. You can go out to a bar and technically accomplish nothing that leads towards you getting sex or a relationship,but you think you're successful because you have these stories to tell your mates. I also think on some level all this stuff reinforces the idea that just talking to girls is this far out, crazy stunt in itself, when really it should be thought of as no big deal (easier said than done.)

Misapplying advice, but in a cute way

Not 'getting' certain pieces of advice can have genuinely detrimental consequences. What's more common and less dramatic is guys just misinterpreting advice in an entertainingly clueless way. It's just part of their learning process and before long they know better and are laughing at their past silliness.

A lot of the points in this article are examples of dudes not understanding what a concept really means. Most of the time the result isn't something to take too seriously. Some advice infamous for being bungled by beginners is:

Wanting to tell everyone your tale of woe

Guys in the Seduction Community often want to make themselves feel better by telling everyone, in exhaustive detail, their "unique" "tragic" back story. What's funny is that many people have a life story that's just as miserable, no one else really thinks your biography is that big of a deal, and most of the stories fall into a handful of categories:

Becoming a genuinely cool guy, then always mentioning how cool you are

Some guys come into the Seduction Community as average at best and actually evolve into truly cool, entertaining, socially well-adjusted people. What's funny is that if you get a bunch of them together they sometimes can't stop talking about how cool they all are. Like they'll be sitting around chatting, but the conversation will occasionally detour into:

"It's cool that we can just sit around and shoot the shit like this, because we're cool, normal guys."
"Yeah, totally man. Lots of guys are all insecure and try hard. But we're cool and chilled out. It's great that we are."
"Yeah, remember how a second ago I teased you? Cool guys like us can do that. Lots of guys can't, but we're cool so we can."
"Yeah, it's great that we can just be cool guys and hang out like this."

Becoming more shallow than a guy is normally

Some Community guys get a little shallow. They only think of girls in terms of how hot they are and how hooking up with them would look to other men. I could get melodramatic and say this is a sign a guy has lost his very humanity. I could have put this in the other article about more unhealthy attitudes from the scene. But really, guys are a little shallow about women to begin with. This is just taking it a bit further. If it's just a phase it's fine.

Being a little too proud of yourself if you get good

Have you ever seen a Community guy who has some real skills explaining a technique to another guy? Sometimes you can see on their face that they're just so darn pleased with themselves for knowing all these secret tricks, and that they actually get laid with them. Not much to say here, just that sometimes guys get good and they get a bit of a swell head. It's nothing too noxious or narcissistic, just something you have to smile to yourself about.


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