Advice On Getting Comfortable Making Moves On Women

There are two broad areas where guys get nervous around women. The first is being able to go talk to a girl you're interested in. The second is being able to 'make a move' on them, for lack of a better term.

Making a move on a girl is any action that announces your interest to her and moves the process towards sex or a relationship along. They are asking something of her, and she has the chance to reject you. Also, sometimes there are windows where the best time to make a move appears. If you miss the opportunity, you can blow your chances with her overall. Our society being what it is, the guy usually has to take the initiative with these things. Women do take the lead at times, but you can become lonely indeed waiting for this to happen.

Examples:

You don't necessarily have to be able to approach strangers to have romantic success - there are plenty of other ways to meet girls - but if you can't make moves your results will be pretty stunted. For example, if there are plenty of eligible girls in your life, but can't manage to ask any of them to hang out, you're not going to get anywhere. Or if you're attractive enough to have some women interested in you, but can't summon the courage to kiss any of them, you're still out of luck. I've felt the pain of this last scenario many times myself.

General advice on making moves

Each 'move' is a specific behavior you have to carry out. They are often accompanied by nervousness and hesitation, especially the first couple of times you ever do them. You can probably think of a time in your life where you had a chance to do one of these things, but you wimped out. Maybe a girl obviously wanted you to kiss her but you were too scared. Or you didn't have the guts to ask someone out, even though you were sure they'd say yes.

As much as I'd like to give you an easy solution, in the end it mainly comes down to just doing it. Don't worry if you puss out and let good chances pass you by a few times, that's just how these things work. Pretty much every guy has let some good opportunities slip by. Think of it this way: say you have a chance to make a certain move for the first time ever, and while you technically don't go for it, you were 75% of the way towards doing so. The next time you also wimp out, but you were 95% there. On the third time you finally succeed in going for it, but you'd never have been in that position if the first two misses hadn't happened.

The first time you ask for a girl's number, ask her to dance, try to kiss her, etc. you're going to feel unnatural and awkward. You probably won't carry out the action as smoothly as you could either (it's your first time, who's ever perfect on their first try?). However, once you've done them enough, these things will seem like a lot less of a big deal. While approaching strange women can induce nervousness no matter how often you've done it, once you're used to things like asking someone out, they usually stop being as scary. Yeah, you'll still be pretty hesitant at times, especially if you're really into the girl, but it's not to the same degree that your reluctance to approach strange women seems to forever be recharging itself.

Having some sort of idea of how to best perform each move beforehand (e.g., go for a kiss) can give you a little more confidence. However, the nervousness will still be there at first. Everyone has to get past those first few times. There are plenty of other sites out there where you can turn to advice on the smoothest way to make out with a girl, or for good ways to ask for a phone number, or whatever.

Getting used to making moves

Although it mostly comes down to getting the gumption to do it, here are some ways to get used to making some of the moves more easily:

Asking for a number

You can get used to this by asking for any person's number the first time you meet them. Met a good guy you could hang out with in the future? Ask for his number. Met a girl who might be a good friend? Ask for her number. Met a girl who you might want to date one day but aren't sure? Ask for the number.

Going for a kiss

If you're on a date with someone and it didn't go totally horribly, at the very least try to get a kiss at the end of the night. You can just ask for a quick kiss goodnight if you have to. If you're drunkenly dancing with a girl try to kiss her. If you're drunkenly talking to a girl and she seems interested, try to kiss her. Don't worry about getting shut down. The idea here is just to get used to going for it.

Asking someone out

Again, invite guys and non-prospect women out who you've just met. It'll do a lot to inoculate you against the discomfort of asking a relative stranger to do something with you. Asking a female friend for coffee is pretty much the same action as asking someone you're romantically interested in.

Trying to dance with someone

Dance with female acquaintances if you're out at a club. Take dance lessons and dance with women in your class. Ask female friends to teach you some moves. This'll do a lot to take the strangeness and mystery out of it.

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